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12 Coolest Anti-Valentine Gifts by Perkal


The Break up Survival Kit

The Break up Survival Kit

Break ups ($ 1.49) may be messy, but this playful, creative kit helps a girl cope with style. The 32-page book offers empowering advice about moving on, and comes with a heart eraser, self-affirming mirror compact with a comb, stickers to "deface" old photographs, a "Do Not Cross" caution tape for tying up the telephone when temptation strikes, and a poster to remind her of the top 10 reasons she is better off without him. (Buy it here)


Sarcastic Candy Hearts

 Sarcastic Candy Hearts

Sometimes love is grand. But often it is cruel, evil, and cuts like a knife. These candy hearts ($6.99) have some of the most dejected, dysfunctional, and dumped on messages ever, and they make perfect Anti-Valentine gifts. (Buy it here)




Anti-Valentine's Day designs on t-shirts ($26.00), stickers, magnets, and apparel for those who don't like Valentine's Day. (Buy it here)


The Emo Anti-Valentine's Day Collection

 The Emo Anti-Valentine's Day Collection

Flowers die. Candy makes you fat. This year save some money by saying no to the greeting card companies conspiracy. If you're one of the millions of people who don't have a date for the 14th, Vitamin Records has your back! This compilation features fourteen hardcore, string quartet tributes to some of emo's most legendary artists ($13.86). Love blows! This doesn't! (Buy it here)




The future is already upon us people. Take a look at OhMiBod ($69.00). This is a vibrator that is powered by your iphone/ipod and happens to detect the beat of your music and well, vibrates accordingly. Now you can take the Wilson-Phillips song and turn it into more than a tear jerker. Amazing, and completely hilarious for Anti-Valentine Gifts.
(Buy it here | Via)


Don't Drink & Dial Flip-Flops

Don't Drink & Dial Flip-Flops

Heels and drinking are never a good combination. The flip flops ($10) are a much better option. (Buy it here)


Voodoo Doll

Voodoo Doll

This 9" tall, stuffed cloth Voodoo Doll ($7.39) is endorsed by a couple of witch doctors and a guy named Doug. Use it to reward nice people by sticking a white pin in the "Win Lottery" area, or punish those who have forsaken you with a black pin in the "Migraine" area. Good for those awful ex boyfriends or girlfriends. (Buy it here)


Did U Fart Anti Valentine Classic Thong

 Did U Fart Anti Valentine Classic Thong

Whether you're being eaten alive by angst, or you simply want to show your inner drama queen, this tragic graphic is for you. Perfect for drama and theater buffs! (Link)


Moshi Girlfriend Pillow

Moshi Girlfriend Pillow

The girlfriend pillow ($16.95) is a very comfortable pillow that imitates women contour. If you can't sleep without a girlfriend unless you have some breast to support your head, this is the right pillow for you. (Buy it here)


Cold Hearted Bitch

Cold Hearted Bitch

Love can certainly turn you into one. Or alternatively, tell the ex-object of your affection how you really feel about her on Valentine's Day! The phrase Cold Hearted Bitch is hand stamped on 3/4" sterling silver hearts.


The Ex Unique Knife Set

 The Ex Unique Knife Set

It's a wicked cool design for a knife holder and certainly a lot more edgy than the standard old block of wood. The Ex Knife Set ($99.89) is the perfect gift for your friend who just got single! (Buy it from www.perkalgifts.co.za)


USB Humping Dog

USB Humping Dog

Simply the best-selling gag gift on the market. WARNING: Only give this to someone with a sense of humor. The USB Humping Dog ($9.95) is available in Doberman, Husky, Boxer, and Beagle for $9.95. Hey, at least someone will get laid on Valentine's day. (Buy it here)

This article was published on Saturday 04 June, 2011.

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